Big Foot's Love Child

What would life be like if this guy was your father?:

You'd have all the opportunity required to take some grainy images of him, sell them on to crackpots and keep a steady flow of income coming for the rest of his life. Brilliant, huh?

Well, no. Likelihood is the inheritance of some of his features - a rather luxuriant all-over coat might work for a week or two as a copy of 'that darling designer coat on the cover of vogue' but after that it might prove an issue. Think of the shampoo costs. And the hair down the plug hole situation. Eww. Anyhoo, I digress.

The reason I come to spending my Friday evening googling Big Foot pictures? Because it would seem that I am the love child of our furry friend, at least according to EVERYONE in the shoe industry.

I don't have the hair issue. At least I don't think so. If I seem to have a rather worrying amount of hair going on, please tell me! No, I have the big feet problem.

They might not be on a level with these babies, but my - shock, horror, gasp! - size 9 feet seem to have provoked a reaction of revulsion and disbelief amongst the shoe-sellers of Edinburgh., Seriously, when I enquired as to what size one well-respected shoe chain go up to, my high-pitched reaction - "Eight in some styles?! Some styles?"- and the shop assistant's look of horror at my shoe size put paid to the overly cheery 'How can I help you' before I'd even had time to clap eyes on a shoe. Traipsing from shop to shop, it would seem that all they have on offer in the women's shoe section is some faux-crocodile skin three-inch heeled thigh high boots. Since I would rather chop my toes off than squeeze myself into those atrocities, I was left with damp feet. Buying a cheap and appalling quality pair of brogues - as they were literally the only thing I could get on my feet in the entirety of Edinburgh I began a search for what I could get on the internet. Result? Stripper shoes.

http://www.vivaladiva.com/shop/product/details/show.action?pdLpUid=RV595&pdBoUid=2719&lpgUid=11188744#colour:1904,size:42

Seeing my cause to be lost, even to the unimaginable powers of the internet, I raided the men's section of M & S. And there I was faced with the undeniable difference in the philosophy underpinning men and women's shoes: masculinity is assured by making one's feet look gigantic; femininity is assured by making one's feet look tiny and delicate.

So my final conclusion is that we should bring back the binding of little girl's feet.

Oh wait, no it's not. Because that would be unbelievably stupid.

My actual final conclusion is that the shoe industry needs to get over the ideology that women's feet should be delicate wee flowers and take note that my feet exist and deserve to be shod!

Zombie Sheep and Beelzebub's Dinner: Why Frape Isn't Funny

It was all going so well. I was idly scanning my facebook feed this afternoon when my head exploded. What could cause such a reaction? Surely nothing as innocuous as a word?

WRONG.

There are quite a few words that make me shudder, scream and turn a teeny-weeny bit violent. Use the word 'banter' and I'll squirm. Use the word 'bants', as one EUSA hopeful did a couple of elections back and I will hunt you down and punch you in the face. You have been warned.

But nothing, I repeat NOTHING, gets me more riled than the word 'frape'.

I blogged about how Jane Austen is languishing in a special level of hell, but I swear whoever came up with the 'f' word is being repeatedly dipped in molten lava and toasted at Gas Mark 8 billion and 64 as the devil's own plaything. If not I'll personally drag them there.

Whoever thought that having your status hacked to say something silly was in any way comparable to the ordeal of rape victims, even in jest, deserves to have their intestines pumped full of angry killer bees and their toes nibbled off by zombie sheep before being finished off with a sprig of rosemary by Beelzebub. A number of good friends have used it before, not out of malice but as it has become an acceptable and even funny term. For those who take up the 'f' term, it may be unthinking ignorance, but please, for the love of all things holy, think about it. You wouldn't think it funny to post a racist term and I don't see any difference here. Not to mention my 1 strike and you're defriended policy.

But it doesn't end with 'frape'. Sexual assault is now the subject of some 'hilarious' comic routines (as discussed in the Guardian article "The Rise of the Rape Joke" accessible at http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/sep/10/rape-jokes-in-comedy).

Society must fight against the incipient attitude that rape isn't serious, that rape is funny and we should laugh at it.

It is estimated that between 1 in 3 and 1 in 4 women will experience rape in her lifetime, a figure which is considered conservative, with an estimated 75-85% of rapes never reported. In Pakistan, the Human Rights Commission estimates that a woman is raped every every 3 hours, every second victim is a minor and every fourth the victim of gang rape. Many victims have been ostracized, punished by the legal system, and even felt that the only response was suicide. In Congo, only now are we beginning to hear the outrage of the international community at the mass rape of over 300 women, some over 80, as well as babies. "Most of the survivors say they were gang-raped, by two to six assailants." (From a Guardian article, accessible at http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/aug/24/congo-rebels-rape-un-rwanda). Conviction rates worldwide are pathetic, and woman are repeatedly being failed by legal definitions, medical professionals and police. NUS statistics state that 1 in 7 female students has been sexually assaulted. Pretty much every woman has been made to feel uncomfortable and threatened by the sexual behaviour of (generally) a man. Who hasn't been groped in a club, or been frightened whilst walking on their own? As a woman big enough and ugly enough to defend myself, not to mention sober enough, I have been able to get out of these situations, but others aren't so lucky. How dare we make light of their plight?!

I urge you to boycott usage of the word 'frape'.

Wet shirts, Incest and Interminable Monologues: Why Jane Austen is Doomed to the 7th Pit of a Fiery Hell

A man in a sodden ruffled shirt doesn't do much for me. I don't think it ever did. However, for many, it has become the iconic scene of a BBC adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. I believe that this is a bit of poetic license on the part of the producers, but I can't know because my mind has blocked all details of Pride and Prejudice from my mind in an attempt to sand-bag my brain from the rot of simpering, marriage obsessed heroines.

Three years ago, I ploughed my way through the inane ramblings of Ms Austen. After all, shouldn't every educated woman list an Austen novel as her favourite book? At first I thought my dislike of the book was a flaw of my own, I wasn't smart enough to appreciate the writing or not romantically-inclined enough to identify with the protagonists. I tried and I tried and I tried to get to grips with Austen. Perhaps it was just Pride and Prejudice that I didn't get on with. So I tried Emma. Just as bad. Sense and Sensibility? Senseless. Mansfield Park? Seriously, incest ain't sexy.

Ah, but it's just a quirk of the time, I hear you say.

Fair enough, but for books taken as the pinnacle of romance, that's a message that makes me vomit a wee bit in my mouth.

And then the writing style... Goodness me there have been telephone books which read better.

But all of this pales in comparison to the realisation I finally came to. There's nothing wrong with me because I don't like Austen, but the societal pressure for young women to like her novels. They aren't very well written and they do go on (and on and on and on and, well you get the picture). But that isn't reason enough to decry Austen - my bug bear is that Austen has become the pinnacle of 'female literature'and their underlying message a stick with which to beat women. Her books have soppy, simpering women devoting ALL of their time to finding a husband, and finding every other woman a husband too, and that is what educated women should aspire to. Women will idealize romance, whilst men can read whatever they want, the very basis of a huge amount of inequality worldwide.

Well screw you Austen, and societal pressure, because you will burn in my imaginary hell.

Repressed Ranting

***Warning - the following post deals with some pretty traumatic subject matter. Not all are recommended to read on.***

I like to see myself as a vaguely rational person who will accept different viewpoints and embraces academic debates. Without debate we will never learn anything, so I will listen to you, even if I then spend 20 minutes banging the desk and yelping 'ABSOLUTELY NOT' across the room.

That was before Palmer.

Over a fruitful cup of tea with Nikki today, we discussed my list of academics I have issues with. I didn't need to think very long to figure out who hits the number 1 spot : Craig Palmer.

Back in the days of yore, when younger, inexperienced me shivered in the cold December wind, working tirelessly on le dissertation by candlelight... Ok, back in December when I was researching chapter 1 of my dissertation - the legal status of women in Pakistan (specifically in terms of rape legislation) since Zia's Islamization programme was introduced - I was searching through books and journals to familiarize myself with the main debates in what I came to call 'rape theory'.

Susan Brownmillar's argument that rape is an exercise in power has been at the pinnacle of debates for over 30 years, revolutionising how we thought about rape as an act of not purely sexual significance.

Continuing the debate, Palmer contributed the most heinous aberration I have ever had the misfortune to come across. 'Twelve Reasons Why Rape is Not Sexually Motivated: A Skeptical Examination' set out to put the sex back in rape. (Accessible at http://www.jstor.org.ezproxy.webfeat.lib.ed.ac.uk/stable/3812897) I am open to debates on the 'rape as power' issue, but I was not prepared for the onslaught that befell me. I will not give a full exposition of why I disliked the article, but I will highlight a few of the worst lines.

Top of the list has to be the brilliantly phrased "Only 15 to 20 per cent of rape victims required hospital treatment for physical injuries" and "only 22.7% ended up inflicting "very severe injury". That's right, only over one fifth of those psychologically traumatised, physically abused and socially stigmatised are left with very severe injury. Almost disappointing, right? If only there was a way to ensure that the attack stayed with them for life, affecting their relationships, causing lasting physical damage... Oh wait, that already does happen. Had this been a quote from a lecture I attended, I would not threaten to punch him in the face. No, I'd actually punch him in the face as hard as I could. But it's OK 'cos he isn't guaranteed to end up in the hospital so he won't be really hurt.

Other gems include: dismissing an argument because it "hinges on the assumption that a males' sexual desire is exhausted by a single "outlet"". But it's all OK because there are prostitutes and pornography for that sort of thing, which obviously isn't about the power inherent in objectification of women, oh no.

The military personnel who specifically planned attacks as a way of displaying power over the enemy weren't involved in power games. As Brownmiller argued:

Rape is considered by the people of a defeated nation to be part of the enemy’s conscious

effort to destroy them [...] men appropriate the rape of “their women” as part of their own male

anguish of defeat [...] rape by a conqueror is compelling evidence of the conquered’s status of

masculine impotence. Defense of women has long been a hallmark of masculine pride as possession

of women has been a hallmark of masculine success [...] The body of a raped woman becomes a

ceremonial battlefield, a parade ground for the victor’s trooping of the colors. (Brownmiller, 1986:38)

Rape as punishment can be sexual. Yay for rapists - exert power over women and get a kick out of it (!)

Sex doesn't need to include consideration for the other party's arousal. Good-o, because forcing a woman who clearly doesn't want it is all terribly sexual and not at all about power.

Date rape isn't really rape.

Men might experience sexual dysfunction because they are worried about punishment. What a shame. If only they weren't forcing themselves on someone else.

Rape is to be expected in the summer, y'know, with all those women out and about flaunting their bodies.

"only excessive force is a possible indication of violent motivation on the part of the rapist" - obviously rape isn't forceful at all. Oh wait, isn't that part of the blooming definition?!

Oh yeah, and only pretty people get raped. How comforting.

A well deserved number one spot on both my 'most hated academic' and 'most likely to get a punch in the face' lists - well done Craig Palmer.

The Gestation of the Mind

What an awesome title. I'm pretty proud of it, and I definitely think there should be a book with that title. Maybe there already is. Who knows?

Anyhoo, before this descends into a dull stream of consciousness, I'll get to my point. Way back in January, I set myself a few personal goals. Go on holiday (alas, one I have failed so far!), see Chris perform (achieved, and it was as awesome as I'd expected - go see for yourself in whatever he pops up in next) and to read at least 15 books. I thought 15 would be a manageable target, but one that would stop me from taking the easy route and watching some TV or what have you.

Nine months later, my mind has been conditioned, challenged and changed by the books I've read. Using my handy 'Read in 2010' list on Visual Bookshelf, I found the results interesting and thought I'd share.

(Not necessarily in chronological order and not including books purely consulted with the goal of completing my degree)

1. Women of Algiers in their Apartments - Assia Djebar
Unbelievably awesome. Back in 2009, I did a course grandly entitled 'Harems, Homes and Streets: Gender and Space in Middle Eastern Literature' and in it we touched on this. Intrigued, I read the entire book and was so challenged, moved and affected by it that I wrote an essay based on it for another class. A collection of short stories focussing on Algerian women during the Algerian-French war, Djebar critiques both the colonialist and native Algerian patriarchal representations of women, dramatically reappropriating Algerian women's bodies for Algerian women.

"Whispering, Baya translated for Anne, while she was rubbing her breasts with her hands; it was then the Frenchwoman stopped asking questions, looking at the wasted bodies around her in fascination. Arms of a masseuse, standing straight up on a marble slab, then kneeling down, encircling the body of a bather, who's face, belly, and breasts were crushed against the stone, her hair a reddish mass, her shoulders dripping with trails of wattery henna.

The masseuse opened her lips halfway, showing golden teeth that shimmered; her long, pendulous breasts were crisscrossed with little veins all the way to the tips. Under that light that came down in oblique rays from the skylight, her villager's face, aged before it's time, was turning into the mask of an oriental sorceress. The silver pendants she was wearing made a clanging sound every time her shoulders and knotted arms came sliding down on the neck and further down to the breasts of her bather [...] Stopping to catch her breath, then slowly pouring a cup of hot water over her naked bronze back, while hoarse sighs were exhaled below her."

Wow. Every time I read that section, I think about the complex interplay between Orientalist, and particularly artistic representations of 'Eastern women' in the hammam as a sensual, erotic and exotic experience, compared to the morgue-like undertones and hyper-realism of the passage. Just read it.

2. The White Tiger - Aravind Adiga

I struggled to see the hype with this one to be honest. It's a little like Zadie Smith's 'On Beauty', a nice enough book, but rather boring. The narrative style felt a little too smug-aren't-I-fabulous-breaking-away-from-traditional-prose but sticking a letter head at the start of the chapter is hardly ground-breaking.

3.The Satantic Verses - Salman Rushdie

Yeah. This was a bit of a trek to get through, especially during the stresses and strains of the final semester of 4th year. I definitely recommend reading it in as few sittings as possible, because the protracted way I read meant that I was getting rather confused about the plot! I do see where the controversy came from, although it wasn't as shocking as I was expecting. I suppose expecting shock is a bit of a paradox anyway though.

4. Yes Man - Danny Wallace

A bit of a departure from the previous 3 books, it was a nice light laugh which didn't require too much brainpower. Worth it for the wee snippet about his meeting with a monk.

5. The Parasites - Daphne du Maurier.

I love du Maurier, I truly do. 'Rebecca' will forever stand as the novel of my teenage years and I aim to collect all of du Maurier's works. The Parasites was ostensibly a rather dull reminiscing of childhood memories, but the disconcerting doubts raised in the reader's minds as we are brought deeper and deeper into the family's world is very, very well done.

6. The Sacraments and the Bible - Phil Layton

A wee book that said what I thought it would in defending the Salvation Army's position on the sacraments against what many would argue is contrary to Biblical teaching. Worth 30 mins.

7. The Alchemist - Paul Coelho

A graduation gift and a very quick read, I found the thinly veiled self-help philosophy a little grating and would rather the book would pick the plot of self-help and run with it rather than the absurd conflation of the two.

8. The Arabian Nights

A long read, at over 800 pages it gave the narrative frame of Sheherezade using her story-telling skills to save her live, along with a selection of the tales. I loved the mixture of genres on offer, there are moralistic tales, dramatic tales, comedic tales, adventure tales... I'm still intrigued as to the conflicting representations of women in the story and the tales will stay with me.

9. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

Recommended by Camilla, I had steadfastly steered clear of WH because it was written by a Bronte. Way back in 6th year, I compared the contributions of du Maurier's 'Rebecca' and Charlotte Bronte's 'Jane Eyre' to the feminist canon. 'Rebecca' was awesome, gave a portrayal of a woman consistently beaten down by men and a woman who will do anything possible, in life or in death, to get one up on a man. 'Jane Eyre' was an interminable whine of appalling monologues, ridiculous coincidences and the always vomit-inducing 'readers, I married him' comment.

As such, I had avoided the Bronte's like the plague, but I finally decided to rise above and goodness me I am glad. A decent plot, a good mystery, one heck of a romance and not a single character made teeth-achingly sweet. This was a proper romance, violent, passionate, confusing...

10. Appropriating Gender: Women's Activism and Politicized Religion in South Asia - Patricia Jeffrey

The start of my NLS journey, 'Appropriating Gender' hammered home the sexualized and gendered way women, and particularly Muslim women, relate to their nations and states. Women's sexuality is controlled and utilized for the purposes of the state. Fascinating.

11. May on Motors - James May

A quick and easy read, with a few giggles.

12. The Limits of Bodily Integrity (Law, Justice and Power) - Ruth A. Miller'

Particularly fascinating to read after 'Appropriating Gender' this book opened my eyes to a whole new way of thinking. Her discussion of Foucauldian biopolitics, with particular reference to the womb, blew my mind. I don't necessarily agree with everything she said, but it has given me a whole new framework in which to consider my chosen topic.

13. The Elementary Forms of Religious Life - Emile Durkheim

Having studied for 4 years, certain theorists will keep coming back like a case of herpes. Instead of fighting it, I decided to actually consider these theories in their full texts rather than as the detached and abstract notions I knew them as. Durkheim has obviously been hugely influential within RS, and I do feel like I have more of a grip on his ideas now, but I found the fact that I was rather unprepared for the book to spend so much time detailing how the Australian tribes demonstrate this (with what we now know to be flawed anthropological information) to be rather tiresome and made completion of this book take FOREVER.

14. The Ritual Process - Victor Turner

As above, really. Liminality is one of the more classic theories I still consider relevant and useful, although there was nothing really new to learn by reading the entire text.

15. Toward a Feminist Theory of the State - Catharine MacKinnon

Love, love, LOVE a thousand times over. My last blog about squeeworthy moments - credit belongs to this lady. Her examination of how sexuality is socially constructed and the mass ignorance surrounding this has led to a number of discussions about how we define sexuality, and has prompted a serious consideration of my own definition. Her piercing critique of rape law as 'with force without consent' has transformed my way of thinking about rape as a crime and built up rage against the male legislators who will continue to write laws which are illogical and dangerous, as well as perpetuating the notion that there is a clear and objective line between licit sexual activity and rape is something which I will struggle with for years to come.

Well, there you go - you've seen how my ideas have been built up from a cluster of confused beginnings, to a proper thesis-baby (though still not ready to survive on paper) as well as the lighter, or at least non-academic, relief I've awarded myself with.

Things That Make Me Squee...

Tea. Obviously.

Cake. Also pretty obvious.

Not being homeless. Definitely loving that.

Family.

Friends.

Finding someone with a theory which complements my own thoughts. As fun as persistently debunking phenomenology as a dangerous and irrelevant methodology was, it's also good to find someone with whom I can agree. I was a bit worried that I had a massively skewed mind, because I'd spent so long reading articles, books and theories that were, for want of a better term, complete rubbish.

In my research over the Summer I've actively had to stop myself from loudly squeeing in the National Library of Scotland at some of the work I've come across. Consent theory is so flawed that definitions of consensual sex are misleading and dangerous for women? Yep, agree with that. Foucauldian biopolitical understandings of the womb have contributed to the extended control women's bodies are subjected to? Pretty self-evident if you ask me. Definitions of sexuality have been formulated on male terms, further entrenching women's inferior position at even the most intimate level and making rape impossible to define and hence to legislate against? Absolutely true.

No funding troll can strangle the academic squee within.

Funding Saga Part II: The Troll Shows Who is Boss

Yeah, the troll won. There was a tiny moment where I had him confused, a bit like when Ron sticks his wand up the troll's nostril in Harry Potter, but I was defeated. Well, given a bit of bruising.

The 5 grand fees of Edinburgh require one to dig a hole of debt so deep that my thesis would be burned up in the heat of the Earth's core, so that was out. Then came a last minute 'what-the-heck' application to Cardiff Uni for their course looking at Islam in Contemporary Britain. Although it was a little outside what I had anticipated, the content of the course looked relevant (a dirty word to some academics) and purposeful. A short while later, one ridiculously nice e-mail from a lecturer there and the quickest scholarship application you ever did see, I was shortlisted and had an interview in Cardiff. A day-trip ensued (never, ever, EVER take a day-trip to Wales folkies. Just don't. Make it a proper holiday) which entailed four hours in the city, including the time set aside for interview and I left sure that I had been unsuccessful.

I was right.

However, the feedback from the scholarship committee was so positive and constructive that I feel the 5am start wasn't wasted. Yes it means I can't study this year and that makes me sad. Really, really sad. But I am only 21 after all, and I haven't experienced life outwith full-time education since I was 4 so this opportunity could be rather formative. I will work away at my job (which I am *loving*), take the advice of the committee and get some practical voluntary experience with the Muslim community under my belt (something I'm really excited about!) and, best of all, I will study in my own time. This way I can mature my ideas in the direction I want to take them, and see where that all ends up for funding applications early next year!

On the topic of my self-study, I had a bit of an epiphany this week when I was in the NLS. It was one of those moments where I get so excited that it actually requires a concerted effort to not squee very loudly at the fact that what this person is saying is so true, is something I've often thought and fits into my work perfectly! Yay!